Josh Wellington’s academic achievements are non-existent. He’s a borderline competent writer, and the fact that he’s managed to cobble this book together is something of a miracle. He currently resides in a large, empty house in the suburbs of Chicago, next to a lunatic who calls the cops when he mows his lawn.

And for the record, he owns more polos then depicted above. This was the exact number necessary to be considered stylish, but not tacky.